They say never burn bridges, but what happens when you do? Whether accidentally or purposely, what do you do when the match has been lit and there are just ashes on the ground? What am I talking about? Lost relationships. It happens. Whether it’s with a parent, a sibling, family or friend…some relationships become broken. While some are broken for good reasons and should stay that way, others may have been broken but have the possibility, and need, for restoration. If you want to restore a lost relationship in your life then start by doing these three steps below:
This year is moving by fast and we are already in the month of February. February is full of great things like Valentine’s Day and President’s Day. However, the greatest thing about February is that we take time to observe and appreciate the African-American community and the contributions that we have made for this nation. I thought it would be only right to touch on the subject of African-American fathers and two of the most common myths about them. They tend to get a bad rep in society and hardly enough praise. Since this month is about recognizing our black heroes, let’s start with the ones at home.
How many of us has lost our cool, lashed out at our child(ren) and immediately regretted it? *raises hand with guilt* Listen, we’ve all be experienced it. You get extremely frustrated and say things out of anger. But what about the times we may be coming from a good place or trying to get a point across, when in reality we are doing more harm than good. Trust me, I’m not exempt from saying things to my daughter that I either don’t mean or said too harshly. But in order to be a better parent I have to reevaluate what I’m saying and how I can say it better. Below are three things that you should reconsider saying to your child.
Last week we discussed how dads are humans too and different ways daughters can uplift their fathers.
I’m sure the daughters were reading it thinking “that’s great and all Aniyah, but he needs to uplift me too.” I agree! Luckily, I’m a forward thinker so this week we are going to flip it and give you dads out there some ways to uplift your daughters. From bruised knees and broken hearts to not getting the job and all that life brings, daughters need their fathers love + wisdom. Sometimes we just want to isolate ourselves and need our space. There are other times, however, when an extra push is needed and wanted (even when we are acting like complete assholes – especially when we are acting like complete assholes).
Below are five ways you can be the hero when our mood is on zero:
Did you ever know that you’re my heroooo? That’s what some of us think when we think about our dad. They kill spiders and threaten to beat up bad boyfriends, and if they are feeling extra generous, dish out cash from time to time. Above all of that, dads are providers. Whether they are providing a roof over our head or good advice, they are always there (well, they try to be at least) to do the best they can with the best they can. What’s even more heroic is a lot of our dads do it with little complaining and hide the fact that they may be struggling or having a bad day, week, or even month. It’s kind of like they are Superman. But here’s the thing, they’re not. They are human and get discouraged at times and need an extra push to keep going. Even if you don’t have the best relationship with your father, you are still his baby girl (whether he acts like it is a different story) and an extra push from you could make his entire week.
This Father’s Day meant a lot to me. In the past, I used to not take it as serious. Clashing + fighting always put a damper when this day came around. Not this year though. For the past year we have been working on our relationship and I’m super proud of the progress we have made.
This year, I was able to really enjoy seeing you as a family man + deliver a great sermon too! While deep down I’ve always been grateful (even if I didn’t show it), this year I was more than that. I was proud. You work so hard to make sure everyone has what they need + desire. When I was younger, I focused on all the things I hated about you, never acknowledging all of the things you did right. You’ve grown so much over the years and have tried to right some of your wrongs. Being able to celebrate the father you’ve become was so special to me.
Not only did I get a chance to see you enjoy Father’s Day, but I was able to see my brother enjoy his first Father’s Day as well. You raised an amazing man who became such an amazing father. I can only imagine how special it was for you to be able to see that. You’re both still super crazy + annoying, though.
All in all, Sunday was pretty damn great. It was a fun-filled day with family and great weather. You were able to be shown appreciation, see your children and grandchildren, and eat amazing food. But you know what my favorite part was?
I was making a video on Snapchat and asked if you had anything you wanted to say. I was very much expecting the normal sarcastic response you normally give. You know, making an inappropriate joke or saying something to get on my nerves. Instead, you surprised me. You said “I love this woman right here” and patted me on my shoulder. *insert wide-eye shock face emoji* Say whaaat!?
Well you know what dad? I love you too. And no matter what you think, I wouldn’t trade you for the world.
On Friday, we lost a champion…The Champion. Muhammad Ali. I could go on and on about how he was an outstanding person, a civil activist and other things, but you already know that. The truth is, sometimes his words packed a bigger punch than his gloves and if you live by some of these quotes, you’ll sure to be a knockout too.
While everybody is getting ready for #Summer16 (including myself), there is an important date literally the day before. Father’s Day! Normally, Mother’s Day outshines Father’s Day. They get flowers, radio playlists, cards and wonderful gifts. And why not? Moms deserve it. But dads deserve it too!
For all that fathers do to provide and take care of us, the least we can do is gift them something really special…even if it’s only once or twice a year (because it’s kind of sad if he doesn’t at least get a card on his birthday).
Wondering how you can make the special father in your life feel just that? Not to fear. Below are my top ten gifts to give the dad in your life for Father’s Day this year.
I am not one to set any New Year’s Resolutions, I did, however, write down some goals that I would like to achieve this year. One of which is creating a better bond with my immediate family, which includes my parents, my siblings and my daughter. Although I believe we are a great family, one thing that is most important to me this year is strengthening my individual bonds with each of them. It is so important to take advantage of the time we have with our loved ones while they are still here with us.
Often times, we assume that they know how much we love them. We fail to properly utilize our time here on earth to make lasting memories with those we cherish. I have been extremely guilty of this, and this year I am putting an end to it. I challenge you to do the same. You may not have called your parents in a year, or you may talk to them every day. Either way, here are some things you (and I) can do to help strengthen not only your relationship with them, but other loved ones as well.
There are times in our lives where we go through things with people that make us want to give up on love. We can go through a heartbreak or disappointment and wonder what love has to do with any aspect of our lives. It doesn’t even have to necessarily be with a significant other. The love we thought we were supposed to receive from our parents, but didn’t, can affect us just as much as the person we are in love with breaking our hearts.
I know for a long time I didn’t receive the love I thought I deserved from my father. He didn’t always listen to me and always had an idea of what he ‘thought’ I should be doing. Yes, he did love me, but not how I needed to be loved. That turned into me dating men that didn’t love me like I needed to be loved – like how I deserved to be loved. All which left me thinking, what good is love in my life? Before I matured, I thought it was no good at all. In my eyes, love mad you weak. It set you up to be hurt and disappointed, and I had had enough of that.